That Which I Ought Not To Do (Part 3)

Yes, ignoring it was her preferred option. What else could she do really? She looked at her perfectly manicured nails and sniffed. Men! Sweet Jesus, please give me the grace I need to deal with this she prayed silently as she re-applied her makeup and made to go back to her desk at work. Pamilerin was a rising star. Everybody said so. And everybody thought she had it made in the shade. Great looks, Great smarts , Great-looking husband and children as cute as buttons all of them living in a mansion of a house on the Island. She had it all! If only they knew the half of it. As she walked back to her desk, eyes followed her. Both male and female. For different reasons. She knew she looked good but she could not for the life of her understand all the brouhaha about her looks! Mom had always said she was just an ordinary looking girl with long legs. Yes, mom loved Rere more than any of her other children….but that was another story and she was not going there today!

Back at her desk, she saw the flashing that meant she had a new mail. Another commendation from a Senior Partner. Pamilerin was a lawyer and a good one. No, a great one and everyone knew she would be making Partner in the coming year. The writing was on the wall. She read the mail and smiled wryly, composing a ‘thank you for your kind and encouraging words’ reply. If only they knew that she would trade all of that in for just the knowledge that her man, her husband was truly, really hers. She had felt that once. In the first month of their marriage. That was 7 years ago. Father in Heaven, why did you send this man my way? And why oh why do I still love him so? This cannot be life as you intended. This really ought not to be.

Her BB buzzed. She smiled again. This time her smile was genuine, reaching her eyes. And it really should not have been. It was Biyi. They had worked on this last case together and had done a fantastic job of it. As she turned round gracefully to get a file from the cabinet, she sensed his presence even before she saw him.

‘How did you get here so fast? She asked him smiling. ‘I just got your sms’.
‘You know me, I am ‘everywhere’ he said it like a ghost trying to spook someone. She smiled some more. He really was heaven to behold. Like Soji her husband but in a different way somehow.

‘Anyway, congrats to our team. We hit a home run on this one, abi?’ ‘Let’s go celebrate over lunch’ he invited.

She declined. Too quickly. He knew why.

Pamilerin and Biyi worked well together. Too well . They seemed to complement each other. The only reason why the office grapevine had not started churning out rumors about them was because everybody knew how committed to her faith and marriage Pamilerin was. She talked about her husband as if he was some kind of King. The cattier women called her a sap. She called herself a Christian wife in love. But the truth of the matter was that one night while working late, trying her best to shove aside the thoughts of Soji and his latest love interest so that she could focus on the work at hand. She crumbled. It had all come to a head and as God (or was it the enemy now) would have it, Biyi was on hand to lend a shoulder (a very muscular, Paco Rabanne smelling, comforting one) for her to cry on. It felt good. It should not have. But it did. And since then she could not get these truly un-christian thoughts out of her head. He was nice after all and if Soji was doing it, had done it all these years, why couldn’t she? Did she not deserve to be happy?

But Pamilerin knew the Truth. It was this Truth that had kept her sane all these years. It was her Strength. She took a deep breath and looked up at Biyi and told him plainly.

‘You know we cannot do that Biyi. Not anymore. Because I am a Christian.‘

If that statement had come out of some other person’s mouth, Biyi would have laughed. He knew loads of ‘Christians’ and he knew what they got up to and how they behaved outside of church. But Pamilerin? No, she was the real deal. He had worked with her for 6 weeks and knew enough about her to know that her was a woman trying to emulate Christ in all she did. It only made him like her more. Respect her more. Be more sad for her. For he knew a little about the real situation at home. She had let him into her world a little. So he nodded and moved away promising to catch up with her later.

Pamilerin did not know how she would overcome these evil demons dancing around her head tauting her, making all sorts of suggestions to her but she knew one thing. She had someone on the inside of her who would always help her. Two wrongs never made a right. She would not become the madness. She would not succumb to that which she ought not to do.

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