Embrace the mess!

In my dreams... Photo courtesy www.dekrisdesign.com
In my dreams…
Photo courtesy http://www.dekrisdesign.com

Let me start this post off with a confession! I have mild OCD! There! I said it! My idea of any space is “pristine”, it is so bad that I clean up after my guests while they are still visiting. And if you wear your shoes into my sitting room, I’ll still be happy to see you but only “just”! I hate the sound of the TV when I’m tired, it’s as though it’s fighting for space in my head and clutter is visual noise to me…

So imagine my dismay when I come home sometimes and my little one has made a big mess, bicycle strewn where I should park my car, throw pillows scattered all over my living room, pieces of Lego and electronic toy cars on the floor and me almost loosing my teeth as I try to navigate through the mess (ok, I’m also prone to a little exaggeration). Or on quiet Sunday afternoons (when I write my post for Monday and just want peace and tranquility), the sound of Hubby watching Premiership football and the noise of the stadium in the background! Honestly! I love football. No, I just love Manchester United but can’t something be done about the background noise of the stadium? It makes me want to pull my hair out!

Anyhow, sometime this week, I got home exhausted after work and had to start tidying up the house- again! I did it with loud complaints and not a little bit of anger, punctuated with “why doesn’t anyone listen to me in this house?” As I ranted on, I thought, wait a minute! Someone out there will do anything to have this “mess”, someone out there is sitting at the doctor’s office, paying thousands of dollars, so that they’ll stand a 35% chance of having a little one who creates a mess and leaves his bicycle on the driveway (IVF success rates are about that). Someone out there, will do anything for her little one to develop the motor skills that allows her ride a bike, someone will be glad for the noise because it means they are not alone!

Isn’t that true of anything we complain about? You say work is stressful, so many people will die to have your job so that they can provide for their families or even have food to eat… Your car has issues- ask the person who has been saving forever and still cannot buy one (at a certain time in my life, on the income I was earning, I’d have had to save 3 years to buy a second-hand vehicle- needless to say, I quickly changed those circumstances). You complain that your mum nags at you, ask the person who only recently buried hers. The list goes on and on…

As these thoughts ran through my head, I started to adjust my perspective- in slow motion to start with, but I started to say thank You instead, I started to feel gratitude for the hubby who is at home watching TV and not spending every weekend of the 7 months that the Premiership is on, in the pub with friends. I started to thank God for home, for laughter, for the means to buy toys that can be strewn around. And you know what else I did? I got my little one and turned it into a game- “who can pack up quickest”, the prize was a pack of Doritos, needless to say in no time, home was how I liked it, and my little one and I giggled as we ate Doritos and watched iCarly! It turned out to be a beautiful evening of laughter, joy and thanksgiving instead of one where Mummy sulks and everyone else walks on eggshells.

And that’s how I embraced the mess, by seeing the miracle in it, knowing I don’t deserve the beautiful people I have been blessed with. Seeing that God has been merciful to me and appreciating the chance to serve those I love. I also embraced the chance to practice what I preach, by exercising control through changing my internal self-talk- my perspective and by doing so, changing my outcome. Remember, Event + Response= Outcome. So tell me, what area of your life can you see through a different lens, find beauty in and embrace your mess? You will be shocked by how changing your thoughts on whatever your circumstance is, changes how you feel about it, without the circumstance itself changing at all!

Don’t forget to be awesome this week and put things in proper perspective. It’s good for the world and helps you stay focused on whats important, helping you fulfill destiny, rather than getting side-tracked by the small stuff. And like they say, “it’s all small stuff” at the end of the day.


  1. Do I miss you? Yes. Did I love this blog? Yes? Are we so alike? Not anymore. But once I was so like this but now I embrace the mess o! I am amazed at how I can walk by my messy upstairs living room and not utter a word. Or see my mgm’s shirt on the floor right next to our laundry basket. What changed me FINALLY? Coming face to face with my mortality. Yes, prospectives of life being cut off suddently clears your eyes fine fine! NOTHING is that big a deal if you ca have just one more day to ‘live it’.

    You know. ONLY the living, see messes…..bee ni!

    Love you Hajel. For real.

    • Love you my dear Sis! What’s all this talk about coming face to face with your mortality o! I am calling you now! But yes, it’s all small stuff, it won’t matter soon, moving around helps keep your weight within safe limits so what’s my issue! I speak to myself and I’m glad you are confirming it, when you don’t take any day of life for granted, when you see it all as the gift it is, it’s easier to embrace and work with the mess! Love you sis, answer your phone

  2. Excellent post dear and I too have felt like this but then quickly remember those who don’t have and I quickly apologize to God, thank Him instead and the dark cloud of imminent mood swings soon blows away… Thanks big sis

  3. That is the first principle of self examination. It is an old saying that nobody can make you happy or annoy you, it is your reaction to the actions that get you annoyed. I daily x-ray my life and see what I did not do right and pray to God to help me change them. I must confess that this was a wonderful post.

    • Oh! Thank you very much! That is so true, you cannot control all that happens to you, but you can definitely control your reactions to them. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.

  4. This is a beautiful post…I ask God everyday to help me react differently to the things that usually “stress” me out. Its a conscious decision I take before I utter a word on most things nowadays.
    There are always two ways or more to react to any situation…I choose the less stressful. 🙂
    I’m sending my guest write-up in soon. Bless!

    • Fantastic Jade! It’s all in our choices and choosing your response means the outside stimuli don’t control you and your moods don’t have to yo-yo to their beat. Thank you so much for stopping by, I appreciate it.

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