What are you doing?


Hello you! I just wanted to  stop by today and ask “what are you doing?” And more importantly, how are you doing what you are doing? How do you react when you are faced with a situation you don’t like or changing circumstances? I wanted to ask that because your answer to that will determine how well you live and whether or not you find happiness.

Did you hear the story of the lady who after taking chemotherapy, woke up one day to find she had only 4 strands of hair? She looked at herself in the mirror and said great, ‘I’ll wear my hair in 2 pig tails’ and went on to have a beautiful day. She woke up a few days after and saw she had only 3 strands of hair, she said “great, I’ll wear my hair in a braid”. When she found she had only 2 strands left, she thought, “great, I’ll part my hair down the middle today” and enjoyed her day again. Shortly after, woke up to find she had no hair and said “even better, I don’t have to fix my hair today”. A year after, chemotherapy had been successful and she had a full head of hair, she looked herself in the mirror and said “great, it looks like I’m going to have another beautiful day!*

I love that story because at the end of the day, what you are doing and how you are getting it done are a matter of choice aren’t they? Show me a terrible and difficult circumstance and I bet, if we looked hard enough, we would find someone who has been through similar and even worse circumstances and  went on to thrive. Ask Malala, Oprah, Mandela, Ghandi, Walt Disney and every one who survived and thrived.

Your attitude determines whether you will be happy or not, whether you will be content, whether your relationships will work out and how you will surmount the challenges that life throws at you. It also determines how and if you will enjoy the blessings that life gives you. I am such an introvert and I recharge best when I’m alone, so I find that when I need alone time and haven’t scheduled it, I start to get irritable and snappy with hubby and my little one, until I remind myself that there was a time when I prayed to have a husband and then a child… At which point I adjust my attitude. I am now learning to schedule time alone and when I can’t get it, I am learning to adjust how I deal with it, now, I tell my little one, “Mummy needs alone time, can you give me 10 minutes?”, usually he says yes, goes out and comes right back in, which is the point where I snap or shout, then feel guilty about the heart-broken look on his face, then I go and say sorry, hug him and then have to play whatever game he is looking to play as a way of apologising. So I lose the alone time I was craving. Now I am more conscious,  I ask him “can we just lie down and be quiet for 5 minutes?” and to deal with his restlessness, I allow him set a 5 minute timer on my phone, so he feels in control and when 5 minutes is up, then I make sure to chat and play like he wants. On my very lucky days he falls asleep in the “quiet time”, either way, we are all happy!

So this is me checking in with you today, and asking that you get intentional about your outcomes; choose joy, choose kindness, choose the perspective and reaction that enhances your life. Choose to do what you do, excellently (whether at home, at work or in your business and relationships) and choose to do it with a great attitude.

Stay awesome!

* Story adapted from Cindy Trimm’s PUSH (Persevere Until Success Happens Through Prayer). I have enjoyed reading this book, it has made me think a lot, its full of great Biblical & scientific information and I recommend it.

4 replies to “What are you doing?

  1. Hajara,

    Thank you very much. That is a great lesson for those of us who are learning to be patient with people and situation that do not fit into our program. Have a wonderful day.


    Akpabio Esien

  2. As I read “what are U doing” I was quickly propelled to rush into a write-up I have being putting up for no good reason. Thank you for giving me a ” push”!!!

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